Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Awkward would be an understatement

We've been trying to get pregnant with baby #2 for quite some time now, to no avail.
That's weird for me because before all Dave did was look at me and I got pregnant with Jackson.

I informed my OB when we started trying again and she expected it would take 3 months tops, given my stellar fertility record.

Well, it's been a lot longer than any of us expected.
 In December she decided to take some blood, "just to rule some things out".

It was then we found out I am not ovulating at all.

So, now I'm in the throes of the Infertility world, which I know nothing of.
After much poking and prodding by my OB, she referred to an infertility specialist.

The day of the appointment my babysitter canceled on me at the last minute so I just took Jackson along. The cold stares from the women in the waiting room made me regret that choice.

I acknowledge that I know nothing of Primary Infertility. And I cannot say that I understand or know how that feels.

But I do know what it is to deeply want and desire a child with all that you are, only to see no lines on the stick month after month. I was shocked at the way those women treated me.

My heart was hurting then...and honestly I thought about just going home and never coming back.
But I held my footing..focused on the sweetness of Jackson and how much he will love his future brother or sister.

I'm glad I was able to hold out, because after looking at my charts, the doctor told me he was optimistic about our situation. He told me to have patience.

"Easier said than done" I thought. I'm not known for my patience, ask anyone that knows me.

He went on to say that Secondary Infertility was the most prevalent type (which I did not know) and that there were many options available to us.

And that brings us up to right now.

There are many appointments, blood draws, and exams ahead of me but I'm trying to stay focused on the end result.

I hope you stick with me on this journey...I need all the encouragement I can get these days.

Posted by Haley
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10 comments:

  1. I'm sorry to hear that! I hope that it will be relatively easy for you as far as the treatments go.
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  2. What an adventure it is. We couldn't get pregnant with #1 due to not ovulating. 2 rounds of clomid we had a baby. #2 came while on birth control (GO FIGURE!) and #3 took 3 years of prayer and trying not to think about it.

    Looking forward to reading your journey!
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  3. I hope you get knocked up real soon now!

    I hate that you felt so bad for taking your child around infertile people, like it's some kind of taboo. A lot of women who try for a long time become very bitter toward women who have children. It took 5 years to concieve my first. More if you count all the unprotected years that I wasn't even *thinking* of babies. (Smart, huh?)

    It's wrong of them, and I've been in their shoes, so I know whereof I speak. They become so focused on getting one of their own, they act as if no one else has a right to be fertile in their presence. Very selfish.
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  4. First off- love you girl. I love your honesty.

    Secondly- we miscarried our very first pregnancy. It took us FOREVER (at least, it seemed like it) to get pregnant with Emerson. It was actually 2 years, but still- I know that heartache of wanting and wanting and not understanding.

    It's such a hard journey to be a mama, isn't it?

    I'll be hanging in here with you, and praying for you. (((hugs)))
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  5. P.S. You look absolutely stunning & glowing in your "dreamer" photo. :)
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  6. Just reading your blog for the first time. I so identify with what your going through. My husband and I are in the same position. Got pregnant right away with our first and have had no luck with a 2nd. Never thought I would be in this position. Struggeling watching my friends all concieve a second with no problem. Thank you for posting this.I have faith it will work out for us both.
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  7. Hugs to you Haley as you wait, hope, and share your heart with all of us!
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  8. I so get where you are coming from. We have been trying for almost two years. Went through one round of IUI fertility treatment but its expensive with only one income. If you go to a really good fertility specialist, you will be fine! I have one son too and even though I deperately want one more, I know that God really knows I want another one. However He wants to give it to me is fine by me, I just pray that He shows me the steps. I didn't plan for my children to be spaced so far apart, but my plans are not the ones that count. I will lift up a prayer for you & keep us posted!!! I blogged about my infertility too if your curious. Its a post in Nov. or Dec. I think. Blessings!!!
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  9. Haley - I wish you the best in whatever option(s) you decide to pursue! Hang in there, woman, and hugs are sent your way.
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  10. Sending hugs and prayers your way! I have a friend who suffered from secondary infertility, after years of trying she is now pregnant with twin boys. I hope that you will also have such happy results!
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Thanks for sharing! I'm so glad you took the time to stop by today and leave your thoughts. I try to respond to everyone personally, and I look forward to hearing from you.

Haley

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